Saturday, May 24, 2008

Thursday in the hospital (May 22)

We start the day with Dr. Korti. She offers realism. His brain will swell, he will have seizures and will require medication for them that he will be on for a while...months, my mind begins to spin, but she continues on, his kidneys are going to shut down, his lungs will need help for a few days at least, his liver has raised enzymes, his bowels are silent, his intestines make no noise, they are shut down...she probably said more but I am not grasping it. She gives some encouragement in that she saw him grab his breathing tube and try to pull it out. He has reflex responses to foot touching or bright light. His EEG had a very depressed brain reading, like almost nothing, but what she sees him doing is much different than what the EEG shows.

The neurologist agrees that there's a discrepancy, but still spews statistics. We talk death and life. Total vegetative state or normal child. He tell us that the positive things Ollie is doing may end soon. Do not hold your breath, do not hope to hard. Be realistic. Don't allow yourself to dream.

Confusion from mom and dad because things will. not. slow. down. It begins to get angering. We are arguing and fighting. Peoples good intentions are ripping us apart. We need a break-desperately. And we seek it in opposite directions.

The kids are scared. They are crying. They missed school again. Will is snappy at them. I am tearful at them. Everything is much worse for the whole family although Oliver is showing small improvements.

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