Today was just a pretty good day. I'd call it wonderful, but we are still stuck in ICU land with no certainty of a release date. It's closer though. Today we got rid of one more monitor. The oxygen saturation monitor. Ollie now only has a heart monitor and respiration monitor on. Less wires!
He still has a central line that runs up his right side from his ankle to his inferior vena cava (that big vein in your gut, a little higher than belly button level) So, his right foot is still strapped to a splint and immobile. It has finally gotten significantly smaller...the swelling seems to be near gone. He has dropped to 8lbs 10oz...only 4oz up from his birth weight, but it's okay, it's all water loss...very good stuff. He is slowly weaning down off the IV nutrition and onto solid breastmilk. It's still a tube feed from his nose down to his tummy.
He is weaning down off his steroids which will take 4 days. As he weans down, his blood pressure is going down as well...which is a real good thing. It means his hormones are able to regulate that with no help. So he won't need BP or hormone medication. He will be able to eventually come home on just the phenol barbatol.
I got the green light from a doctor to allow him to self lead in latching on/feeding if he wants to. So he gets lots of mommy cuddle time, skin to skin. It's up to him to bob around and find and root and initiate. If you try to force it, they can get aversions and not want to feed. It has to do with the tubes that have been down his throat without his permission. He gets to sign his own consent to feed form so to speak...Unfortunately, I must let off a hormone that is the equivalent to a horse tranquilizer as the boys just knocks out. If only my boobs had that effect on other people...*grin* He did nuzzle around and got a little suction. I think he's just getting comfy with the idea of being in control of his own mouth and no one forcing anything on him, including a pacifier or a boobie.
Anyway, he did a lot of resting today, and that's okay. It can be frustrating as a parent who so wants to bring the family together asap. I leave home and Ryan cries, I leave the hospital and Ollie cries. I cannot express how torn in half my heart is...well it's like torn in 4 or 5 or more pieces, but you get the point. He is still recovering from a huge "insult" and I must remember to be patient as he finishes healing his body. I have to make a conscious effort to be grateful. When it begins to feel like a huge taxing sacrifice, it's easy to get frustrated and rushed. I am grateful my boy is alive. I am grateful to see the wires and tubes go, but I thank them, they have kept my son healing and healthy. It's like a slow detachment from an umbilical cord.
Will got to come and hold him for a long time today and talk and bond. Ollie really opened his eyes and met his daddy soul to soul. Will caught his breath a couple times. It's so neat to see first hand that he's really inside there...that our baby is really alive and conscious and there. To see not only eyes but a soul inside of them, is truly the most miraculous feeling. It's like looking for an instant into the eyes, the plans of God. And Ollie just holds your stare and stares right back. It brings goosebumps to the skin. He says hi with his eyes, and total excitement over and over. He's glad to be here as much as we are glad to have him. I can't wait to show him the rest of the world outside that ICU...the only room he has ever seen. It's going to be awesome!
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