Announcing...another BOY for us!

Spike Lee Payton joined our fest of testosterone this Christmas and will grow to an estimated 3-4 pounds give or take. At 6 weeks old he is potty trained, very affectionate and such a joy!

Hieeee Every body!!

All right! My little monkey boy has now climbed down off of his "mama perch" and is freely exploring his world. Well, he has been more and more lately, but he now gets his lil tush up in the air and paddles those feet against the carpet, stretching, reaching, grunting and creeping all the way across the floor. It occasionally makes for some great mischief!...

Where he cannot creep to, he can roll to. He is determined and takes what objects he finds into very serious scrutiny. They must be inspected, tasted, hit, batted, twisted, chewed and the whole inspection process repeated several times before they are hastily thrown out to the side. (we have finally mastered letting go of objects we have secured in a firm grasp with the exception of mama's hair)

Big brothers are fascinating!

Cute Baby Socks!!!








Here is the Christmas sing along at the kid's elementary school...Ryan is in white antlers in the very back row, scratching his ear. He was waving and signing I love you thru the whole two songs the Kindergarten class sang. It was hilarious. I caught most on video, but it's too long to upload onto blogspot. A couple photos of the babe at the sing along and him sneaking in some mama milk...dinner and a show! woot!




Gingerbread house made by Ry guy.


Dec 22 Bradley turned 11!


Controller? What controller? I plead the fifth...

We have rollerblades, ripsticks, skateboards, scooters, footballs, nerf guns, pads, ramps, cones and random objects to incorporate into play...yet this is what my kids find to do...oh well, all was quiet for about 20 minutes.






When your baby outgrows his drool bibs...what do you do? Put them on the dog and catch some funny pics!
WAH! Feed me!

The pack of boys at Christmas. The far right is Will's little brother, often found at our house when not at school :) Matthew was actually in our custody for a couple years, so he's like another son in a way...except I would have been 12 or 13 to be his bio mom. eeks!

None the less...Merry late Christmas to all and Here's to an awesome New Year~2009!

wow oh wow

holy smokes! I am alive and back online...unfortunately I have only a moment before it is discovered that I am goofing off and not working on the computer we have inherited (shhh) so it's a quickie...

My sweet little chunky monkey has reached twenty pounds, and is now in one of those convertable car seats instead of the removable one (not that he could be lugged around in an infant one anyway). He is still in the rear facing position, but I am not thrilled with the new seat. He cut two teeth on the bottom Dec9 and Dec11 they came in. He has an adorable toothy grin now and I will shortly be getting my digital camera cleaned out and some new pics up for all to see.

The holidays went...well, as holidays do...loads of family drama, toppled with me and Oliver not feeling well at all the last few days...sharing my older kids with another family...it's been hectic, and I look forward to these last few days of Christmas vacation with all the kids home-peaceful and free of obligation....and a ton of new toys and books to find homes for.

Will is once again out of work-at least we made it thru the holidays. He is however now fully licensed including liability and bonds and all that jazz-and taking a new direction for employment-himself! He is putting his general contractors license in full swing, a little scary, but also good as the people he has been working for are unable to keep him fully employed-yet again, and we are unwilling to continue this pattern.

The new year is coming with new hope and new faith...and new pictures soon!
Randi Fay

Short Break!

Okay so my main PC crashed today (after 7 years) and I write this note out real quick from my moms house. My van ran out of gas this morning (I felt dumb) and triple A saved the day. My fridge is dripping water from unknown vacinty...I have three laptops that don't work, a main computer that refuses to go online now, and two xboxes ready for repairs, a DVD player that demands brand new prestine DVD's or it won't play. Yet my old VCR works great. My dryer no longer turns the clothes basket, but does get hot...so only the clothes on top of the wet load get dry. (not fun when you cloth diaper your baby)

Apparantly all my appliances are in competition for who gets replaced this christmas! And yet, I am grateful. I am grateful that it was just gas and not anything worse. I am grateful that the fridge still runs, even if it needs a bucket. I am grateful that I even own 4 computers and 2 xboxes. Mostly...as if I haven't said it enough...I have four healthy happy spirited boys. My husband has a job-many people don't. If being a blond and running my van out of gas is the worst of my problems, I got it pretty good. Everything will get repaired in time. It was great fun pushing the van back into the driveway this morning, my 12 year old, me, and my 80 something year old neighbor at 8am. Ryan was sitting in his booster seat (we were on the way to kindergarten) and as we got the van rocking, rocking, rocking and back up over the curb and into the driveway Ryan yells "Weeeee!" LOL. I try so hard to have his spirit. Amazing what you can learn from the little people.

Long story short, it may be a few weeks before I can put up a new post. Luckily my digital camera is less than two years old and works like a charm. I will work on filling it up with glorious pics of the family and post some next time I can. I hope and pray you all have magical holidays, but if nothing else I hope you can find gratitude somewhere in the midst of it all.

Love to all
See you soon!

The last baby Grace post for a bit...

Little Grace did in fact have a surgery to place what is called a G tube. It goes directly into her belly from outside her abdomen. It will after it heals a couple weeks have a button to close it. Her mama can just open her button, attach a tube and feed her directly that way. This will give her airway total freedom from any sort of tubing, allowing it to heal. (She will not need any oxygen or nasal/breathing tubes at home) In a few months after she gets bigger an ear, nose and throat (ENT) specialist will be able to remove some of her scar tissue and hopefully get her throat in a condition where the vocal chords will close all the way so she can swallow without it going into her lungs. Kristen and Greg are optimistic and very happy that they know solidly the cause of Graces issues and have a plan for treatment. Having an illness with no diagnosis nor prognosis is so frustrating and scary. They are excited to be able to bring baby Grace back home within a week. They give much gratitude for all the warm thoughts and prayers for their sweet baby girl.



Here's baby Grace just before surgery.


***Grace is now home as of Dec 1. She is on lots of medications and mom reports it is a two person job to feed and medicate her. She is still struggling with morphiene withdrawals, but is slowly starting to return to a normal babylike schedule. She has 9 doctors appts in the next month and still has a path to journey, but is home and in mama and dad's arms where she belongs.

Kindergarten Thanksgiving...

I picked Ryan up from Kindergarten and he was sporting this great self made paper hat. Most the kids had some sort of Thanksgiving themed hat on. A Pilgrim hat, some of the girls had paper bonnets, there were Indian headbands with feathers...all paper projects. All four classes of twenty kids each. They had all brought food or drinks and cooked and shared a huge Thanksgiving feast. We made it thru the swarm of kiddos back to the van and I wondered what all Ry guy had actually absorbed about Thanksgiving.



Me: Ry, what is on your head?

Ryan: A Pilgrim hat.

Me: What's a pilgrim?

Ryan: They were guys that didn't have toilets and went potty outside.



He then hopped up into the van and asked what I was making for lunch. He's learning alot in kindergarten.

Happy Half Birthday Today Oliver George Payton!

Does he know he's our whole world?!

Quickie update...Big fat double post tonight!

Okay, Please also read the next post below after you read this, it is new, I just posted it, but had to add in some information for the sake of keeping ya'll posted, so I'm posting this one...yes, extra reading, a big fat double post woohoo!

1. Oliver went to Neurologist this week. It was just the six month assessment. I had a little trouble driving the same route as to the hospital, a little pre appointment anxiety. Ollie of course is normal. He is ever so slightly "stiff" in a couple areas, but nothing that even warranted a referral for physical therapy or anything like that. Basically he is really good at rolling on his right side, but doesn't like to roll to his left, he can, he just doesn't like to. I think the right is just faster for him and since he's practiced so much, it's preferred. He also tends to keep his hands on the floor by his head when he's on his back. I have to remind him they are there and to use them. He also doesn't touch his hands to his knees or his feet when he is on his back or lift his head to look down his body. Some of this is because he is 19 pounds and chunky and wears cloth diapers which are a little bulky and make it hard to lift and hold leggies. Some of this is from being strapped to boards or sedated in the hospital and not building those first early movements. Some also is probably a bit delayed as his last week or two in womb he was holding very still and unable to build muscle strength. Now since his appt, he has on three occasions rolled to the left on his own will. He has also bent his knees up while on his back although hasn't touched them, or held them up for long, but he bent them up. I am certain he is just a tad slow on these developments and continue to encourage him daily. From all outside eyes he's as normal as can be, these are certain things that we scrutinize and watch for with eagle eyes. I fully expect them to dissolve within weeks at most.

2. Baby Grace. She had a barium swallow study done which is basically a live moving xray of her drinking a bottle. She is aspirating (breathing) her formula into her lungs. They believe this is likely due to that weakened vocal chord and from all the intubation and repeated intubation. There are two options: one is to go home with a feeding tube thru her nose and give her body time to heal itself. The other is a surgery to place a feeding tube in her belly so she can heal. They are waiting on the doc to let them know what it will be. Of course Kristen and Greg really want the nose/least invasive option and to skip a surgery. But, the beauty in this is, they know without a doubt this is what caused Grace's latest hospital stay. As this problem is resolving, so are all her other issues.

3. I got an email today from a sweet friend who walked in my shoes a bit (as far as NICU trauma goes) and reached out to me during Oliver's ordeal. Her name is Ronda. I could not ignore this email, and I had to link this families blog to mine. I will be watching and praying for this new baby friend... I only hope by asking all my friends to help (by prayer if nothing else) that it can bless someone else as I was blessed during our most difficult time. I can only pay it forward now...here's copy of the email if anyone wants to read it:
And please remember, this is from a friend of mine, it was not a spam email...

Dear friends:

If you have received this you either know us personally or someone you know does.....we are the family of Charlie Rose Mortensen, born July 21, 2008. Baby Charlie came into this world appearing healthy and happy and loved my many. Within one week our lives would forever change. Charlie was rushed to the hospital after turning blue and was diagnosed as having Shone's Syndrome which is a form of heart disease that has two main features. First, there are multiple problems with the left side of the heart, which receives blood from the lungs and pumps it to the body. The valves and passageways are often too small or blocked. Second, the abnormal areas on the left side get worse over time. This second aspect of Shone's Syndrome makes it very different from most other types of congenital heart disease, which may be equally severe at birth, but do not progress over time.

Baby Charlie has already had the first of three open heart surgeries with the second to come soon at UC Davis. Baby Charlie has not left the hospital between surgeries although that is what we originally expected. She has coded, been off and on a heart/lung machine and a ventilator throughout the last few months. Her most current struggle is her liver function.

She is now stabilized and we are happy to report is a smiling, lovely 4 month old baby.

Her life has been so significant to all of us...we have learned to love more and appreciate life to the fullest. For such a small, blessed little girl she has had the fight of her life already. Her parents, Shelly and Mark, have weathered this incredible journey with such passion and determination that we are in awe of their strength.

Asking for help is always hard to do but we believe that we can make a difference for this family with your help. Therefore, we are asking for these four things, any one of this will help the world be a better place: 1. Foremost, love and cherish your family and live life to the fullest; 2. Pray for Baby Charlie; 3. Please donate $5 to her fund; and 4. Forward this email to anyone you know and ask them to do the same.....

Our goal is to have 10,000 people send in $5 to Baby Charlie and her parents. We would love to ease the financial burden on Shelly and Mark. Shelly will not be able to work for years while Baby Charlie is preparing for her 3rd surgery. She has not left the hospital or stayed one night at home since July.

If you are interested in donating, please send a $5 check or use paypal on the website (we would take larger ones, too) to Shelly Teal (memo line Charlie Rose Fund) to:

Charlie Rose Fund c/o Shelly Teal
951 Reserve Drive #100
Roseville, CA 95678


For more information about Baby Charlie visit: www.charlierosefund.com or www.charlierosefund.org. We are going to update the site weekly with her condition and progress.


We know in our hearts that Baby Charlie will survive but we just want to help make their life a little easier.........we appreciate any contribution whether spiritual or monetary you will invest in this amazing little baby. We believe this email will make a big difference to them. From the words of Mother Theresa "We can only do small things with great love"

Love and thanks,

The Aunties and Uncles of Baby Charlie

Jay and Kelly Resendez
Jill and Josh Milnes
Logan Ryan and Lisa Teal
Jill and Tag Gorman

PS....we would like to thank the amazing author, Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote "Eat Pray Love" and has inspired this email......without her we would not have realized that part of our helplessness in this situation might be cured with just one email to our friends and family......

****We have notified www.snopes.com in anticipation that this will land all over the world so that you know that Baby Charlie and her struggles are real and that this family is truly in need of both your prayers and help***

***************************************************
Now, I'm not too rich, but I managed to squeak out five bucks. In the 21 days that Oliver was in ICU it cost us our entire savings of two thousand dollars-not to mention about 400.oo that was donated to us. Just to get to and from the hospital, pay for food, and keep bills afloat due to a few weeks of no income. And let me tell you, we squeaked by and are still making up for it months later. I cannot imagine going on month five as this mama is still in the hospital....five bucks is not a whole lot to me now, but in her shoes, its a meal, or a gallon of gas, or that much less of an electric bill waiting in the mail at home...I hope and pray her medical bills are already covered!

Thanks to all my sweet friends and family with big big hearts! May God be watching and may you be heaped with blessings this holiday season-but mostly with the blessing of health!

Thanks Dad :)

Today was an interesting day. One of those where you just kinda sit at the end of the day, stare at your carpet and then smile. As a kid growing up, my dad used to frequently remind me that there was always someone worse off than me and always someone better off than me. He'd remind my brother there was always someone meaner or always someone nicer. (this reminder usually came after I was drug across the carpet in a sibling war and, covered in rug burn ran to dad crying) It often times kept my ego in check, but also gave me self esteem. From time to time, I still hear his words echo in my ears. I realized today that perhaps what dad really meant was that I was just a normal person. I wasn't too mean or a nice doormat, I wasn't too rich or too poor. I wasn't superwoman, but I wasn't an evil villain either. I was in the middle, a normal citizen if you will. It's kinda nice in the middle, it's comfortable. It's just enough of both ends. It's a good place, not amazing wonderful and not wrenching horrible either. It's joyous, simple, and sweet.

My mom called today. It was 7am. Once again one of her sweet little Chihuahua's was in labor. I've assisted her several times before with doggie labor and delivery. I've been in the trenches (sometimes literally). I've helped adjust and readjust stuck puppies. We've done breech, we've done normal. We've done fast, we've done slow. We've done puppy CPR. (more than a couple times) We've had neurotic mom dogs that almost eat their young when they get carried away licking and calm mellow dogs that seem to launch pups with no help like a pea shooter. Today was not a pea shooter kinda day. But, we didn't have any puppies for lunch either.

This particular mama dog averages 5-6 pounds, and I'll admit, I was a little nervous at seeing her for the first time in a month. She looked as though somehow she had managed to swallow a honeydew melon. No, not a cantaloupe, a honeydew. She was huge. Her first delivery of this litter was a boy, who came out breech and was a little bit of a struggle. About 35 minutes later she had a little girl. Head first, seemingly normal. We were so happy. Both of these tiny soft fluffy little beings could fit easily into one hand. They were warm and pink and snuggly and nursing away with grunts and squeaks. After about 40 minutes the mama dog began to strain again and we went back to work. I raised her tail to peek and see if another sac was showing yet(doggies are born bag and all) and I saw a foot. Only one foot. No sac. My heart sank. It must've been about 7 minutes of pushing and straining, repositioning and adjusting, a couple cuss words. This puppy, although slowly being pushed out was not moving. I was really having to get in the trenches and work it out from her hips from the inside. It was not easy. Mom was struggling with the mama dog who was frantic and yet exhausted. She was still giving it her all bless her heart. Finally the head came last which on a chihuahua is awful. They have "apple heads" and the back of the skull is the widest part, it's like a brick wall. I knew the pup was gone, but also knew there was one more coming and demise or not, we had to get this one out of the way. It had to come or we were gonna lose not only it but whatever was next and mama dog too.

It finally passed and we both made more than noble attempts to revive it, but it was just so long with no sac, no oxygen, nothing, and it was a good one third larger than the other two. The head was huge. For just a moment a lump caught in my throat and I shed a couple tears. I looked at mom after she was done giving her all and I said "I'm sorry." I was brought back to Olivers birth, that tiny blue, still, lifeless body. Except, Oliver wasn't totally lifeless, he was trying to grunt for air, and fighting for life. This pup just had no fight, and didn't ever have to. The placenta had torn off before hand, and the bag ruptured, by the time all that delivered it was all falling apart. It was a train wreck in a bottle. It had been a fast ending for the puppy. I just felt sorry for the mama who had to work so hard to get it out.

Within moments a fourth pup came along, head first, kicking on the way out and ready for milky instantly. We felt around and with relief realized that number four was the last one. She was done. In hindsight, there is nothing we could have done. Even if it all would have stayed in tact, that pup was just huge and so difficult, it easily could have mental or physical damage even if it had lived somehow. As we inspected the pup and wrapped it up there was actually an air of gratitude. By law of nature, you lose some. You just do. That fact is easier to accept when you're talking doggies for some reason. It seemed like it was the most painless route (although poor mama dog had to strain over that head a bit). It was black and white. There was no almost living puppy that needed help and the struggle to deal with the decision of what to do. It was just gone. We have three beautiful baby pups, one boy and two girls. When I left, 3ish hours after the last birth...all was cleaned up, mama dog was done licking. (no one had been eaten) They were snuggly and warm and so fluffy soft. Little tiny puppy ears the size of a pencil eraser. They have little fat rolls and all of them could latch on and suckle away. Mama doggie curled around them and put a top paw over the top in a protective way. It was beautiful in spite of the loss. And even though it is just a dog, you somehow get heartstrings attached. They were sweet.

I came home and stared at my carpet. I figured I should process a little bit now. I realized that in spite of Olivers troubles at birth, and the loss of a full on non medical home birth we had planned, it was still so beautiful. It could have been much better, but ya know, it could have been much worse too. Sometimes I don't feel like I handle it so well, even now I continue to grow and process...as time ticks on and I slowly catch up to reality, I realize sometimes with a slap in the face, how truly awful Oliver's story could have been. I realize that to some what we walk seems beyond understanding, but to some, it's cake. You know...dad was right. We really are right in the middle. Right where we are supposed to be. And, I'm pretty sure, it's all gonna be okay. Joyous, simple, sweet. With much gratitude for this spot, right here.

Grace's progress...

Baby Grace is doing well. She is only on a nasal cannula. She is taking some more tests this week to see if they can solve why she keeps aspirating, or if she is in fact aspirating her formula and that's why she had some of the lung issues. She is also having horrible morphine withdrawals and is being treated with methadone. They are of course using minimal doses but there are times when lil Grace can't even sleep and they have to treat her so she can rest. She is up to 11 pounds and doing so much better in spite of it all. They are looking at going home next week sometime. We continue to pray for her.

Later this weekend I will publish a post with updates and pics on Oliver, I'm literally walking out the door right now to be taximom...hugs to all and happy friday!

Happy news from camp Grace :)

Grace came off the ventilator successfully today! She has a nasal canula, and was smiling away minutes after the tube was out of her mouth. The first 24 hours from having the tube removed are crucial to her staying off the ventilator. After 10:00 tomorrow morning, she should be pretty stable. Being intubated can cause secretions to build up in her lungs. While she was intubated, the nurses could suction it out, but now Grace either needs to cough it up or let it absorb back into her body. She has been coughing alot (kind of sounds like a cat trying to get rid of a hairball), and it's uncomfortable for her.
Her morphine was turned off all the way this morning, and withdrawals kicked in this afternoon. She is on methadone to wean her off, but it doesn't make alot of discomfort go away. She is very fussy and sensitive to touch, and isn't able to sleep much. It's so hard to watch an innocent little baby go through this, especially right after a good thing happened! She has been given a mild dose of a sedative now to help her calm down and rest. Hopefully, the withdrawals will wear off in a couple days.
We had a great time with Grace this morning before the lack of morphine affected her. We held her easily, and she was giving us big smiles, and staring at Daddy's Cowboys hat. She started crying when he took it off to kiss her. She is so big! We just bought her a bunch of 0-3 months outfits a month ago, and she is outgrowing them before she has even worn them! She feels so heavy to us compared to just a few weeks ago!
She is getting fed again through the tube in her nose, and we will probably try a bottle in a couple days. Please pray for her continued success off the ventilator (an doff oxygen all together), for her withdrawals to be brief, and for success with bottle feeding. Once she is stable on breathing off the ventilator, and taking all bottles, she will be allowed to go home!

My little boys...

Last night was a phenomenol night for America. I was brought to tears watching the speeches, and allowing my kids to watch such a historical moment was just. cool. The promise of "yes we can." We can do anything. We just have to step up to the plate in unity. What a warm fuzzy feeling. So the older kids declared that "Obama won Obama won" and I looked to my sweet innocent Kindergartener hoping he wasn't totally lost in the hoopla and said "Ryan, what does that mean that Obama won?" His reply was simple and with no doubt in his voice..."mama, I know what that means, he's our next Prisoner." (I bet he has no idea what he signed up for)

All is well. Oliver had a weigh in appt the other day...and is at a whopping 18 pounds 5 oz. He is 27 inches long, but was wiggly on the tape measure so I'm betting more like 28. I mixed him up some oatmeal since he has been faithfully sucking, lip smacking and attempting to eat whatever he sees go to my mouth, as well as trying to nurse on the side of my water bottle when I get a drink. He had no problem grabbing with both hands the spoon and my hand and pulling it into his mouth. Eyebrows went up, and he proclaimed it was a wonderful idea. With his help he managed about 2ish tablespoons of oatmeal mixed with mama milk. He still nursed afterwards and then had a great nap. It didn't slow down his digestion a bit, the next morning he was regular as ever. We've had oatmeal a couple times now, usually he gets a couple bites in with great enthusiasm. Once he just wasn't interested. It's fun letting him lead. I don't try and finish a jar or make him all clean. He gets to put his hands all over it, and help. In fact, if he's not helping, we don't proceed. It feels so much better to me...this baby led feeding thing. I love how much closer I feel to him and all my kids in general by being more observant to what they are saying and encouraging them in meeting their own needs, but being there if they need help. It's been quite an amazing discovery for us, with truly awesome results in behavior, grades, attitude...

How bout some cute pictures?!

Translation: Mom, I love you. :)


Translation: Grass is AMAZING!

I could eat that camera too...come closer mom...

Fun with Carrots!

Little bites of Oatmeal. Thank you for the highchair and swing Miss Natalia!

Halloween Goodies! We had a great time at my Aunt Mary's. Ryan love his cousin Elise...and I am so glad our families have been able to get back in touch after years away. I was there when Elise was born! Such a cute little screaming pink thing, now all grown up and loving on my little boys. Elana my aunt's youngest goes to school with my oldest now...We have such a sweet history, and our times together seem to fly by so fast!

Shipping out a big box of extra mama milk...Ollie is doing the cute eyebrow thing again..."don't ship me out mama!"

Coffee, snuggles and puppy love at Mammy's house the day after Halloween. Dog licks are the bestest or so Ollie thinks :)


Blessings to you all with much love~

Baby Ollie and family